Everyday I spend as a parent I feel this more and more.
It is no coincidence that I am a homemaker like she.
I strive to honor her and that designation everyday.
She worked harder than anyone I know.
She, along with my dad, supported our family, to keep us fed, clean,
out of jail…
I have only begun to feel the strain of that work.
It is because of my mom that I clap for Tinkerbell;
That I believe in magic…
It is, at least somewhat, because of my mom that I grew up valuing cultural enrichment.
She used to take us at least once a month or so to the U-District, to the Neptune or the Varsity. Her appreciation for music is broad and deep, eclectic and passionate. We went to the theatre from an early age – a place where I eventually found my second home –and my true love… we went to the library on a weekly basis… and we went to every festival in the Puget Sound area…
My mother is passionate about truth and knowledge, two things I cherish, and values I intend to pass on to my children…
She taught me about strength
about sacrifice
and compromise
and devotion
and loyalty…
about patience and openness
about transformation and transience…
about feelings and the value in the exchange of ideas
she taught me how to balance a checkbook (not that I do…)
and about the joy of road trips, also known as Fun Family Outings
and she continues to teach me every time we talk on the phone
she is noble, and humble
she is strong and gentle
in her kitchen she concocts recipes of love and more…
she taught me that you could be poised and classy, while vacuuming around
a stack of framed pictures…
I think it is my mother’s influence that has shown me the light of the world
and inspired me to have children, and share that light with them…
through words
and acts
and music
and food
through quiet
and firelight
and shadows
and dancing…
I have the utmost gratitude for my mother.
by The Next Family
by: Danny Thomas
So, I’ve spent the last year or so a stay-at-home dad. In that time my children have turned two and five, my wife has finished a doctoral degree, and we have moved across the country, among other things… it’s been tumultuous, to say the least. It has also been, alternately, totally fulfilling and somewhat demoralizing…
I’m starting to think about going back to work.
I had this weird thing happen some time in February. I was in a Hallmark with Lil’ Chaos, musta been looking for valentines or something. As we were leaving we passed a snow shovel just inside the door. I had this strange compulsion to pick it up and shovel the sidewalk. If you know me you know that I am no stranger to manual labor, and don’t exactly shy away from it; however, I am rarely the first to volunteer to shovel a sidewalk.
As I pondered this compulsion I started to realize that what was appealing about it was the idea of a job that had a beginning, a middle, and an end. Parenting, homemaking has no end. You finish the breakfast dishes and boom! there is lunch. You finally get the laundry folded and put away and boom! there’s a load of towels and a load of kid clothes staring you down.
It is a strange dichotomy. I have worked many, many jobs with amorphous and immeasurable job descriptions. Hell, most of my jobs over the last ten years have fallen under such descriptions, but working as a full-time parent is more gratifying and at the same time takes an immense toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is never-ending. There is no fiscal remuneration, the feedback is like the schedule, catch-as-catch-can, and there is endless room for improvement.
I think the snow shovel looked attractive because the idea of shoveling a sidewalk, seeing the finished job and knowing that my contribution was well done and appreciated, is a satisfaction I have to eek out as a homemaker.
Don’t get me wrong: there are countless ways my family and friends acknowledge my day-to-day work. I get my strokes. Just looking at or being with my kids is a satisfaction in and of itself, but it’s different than a paycheck, or an approved final draft, or a happy customer…
But we have gotten comfortable with all the benefits of having a full-time, stay-at-home parent. We are struggling, as a family, to figure out how to get me back to work, what kind of job will fit best. I need the structure, the sense of completion, and the money won’t hurt either. I am nervous about re-adjusting to being in the workforce too, re-acclimating…
I have a gig right now DJ-ing proms and weddings. It has the potential to be a good fit in that it is flexible, does not alter our schedule too much, and is fun! But it is long, hard hours when I do work, and I wonder if working a few days a week for a few hours would be an easier alteration to our lives. It’s hard to know. I really don’t know how parents who work full time or single parents manage it at all.
