The Photo Says it All!

Blogged again

The Next Family

In the nearly five years that we have been parents Jen and I have experienced a number of recalls for products that we use or have used regularly, daily, frequently, with or without our children. Car seats, high chairs, slings, strollers, toy after toy after toy… Some recalls more serious than others, ranging in severity from pinched fingers to suffocation….

Eegawds!

What do we do with this information?

Admittedly, I am a head-in-the-sand kind of person – and really not all that tapped into news or pop culture events, let alone current recall warnings, or serious concerns, or even the latest childcare trend… Yes, I have guilt about this. Luckily, I partnered well; Jen is all up in the parenting discussion groups and knows which water bottle to avoid or what sun block is safest…

I sort of figure I balance those duties out by lots of bike rides, and Lego truck building lessons, and trips to the park… Jesus, if the park gets recalled I’m screwed.

But, when Jen looks up from her computer and tells me that the company that made Wobzilla’s bed –which she slept in nearly 20 hours a day (she was sleeping on us the other four) for the first nine months of her life -has issued a voluntary recall as a result of two deaths that occurred in the bed (during the very same months that our child was sleeping in one)…I don’t know how to process that. Anger, gratitude, remorse, fear, empathy, compassion, guilt, all at once.

It brings to mind those chain emails that occasionally make it around. Generally an Old Timer bemoaning the state of the world today, almost boastful of the fact that they survived without car seats, or even seatbelts, that they lived in a time when it was okay to drink and smoke while you were pregnant and somehow they survived, blah blah blah. I’m sure you know the kind…

There are days when these strike a funny bone for me, but often, I read them and think, “Sure you survived unscathed, but not everyone did, and that’s why we have a seatbelt law now, that’s why there are car seats and why we stopped using iron in paint…” To me, it is insensitive to be boastful about winning the luck of the draw. It’s unsportsmanlike conduct.

What comes next?

We go about our day with faith, trusting all of our stuff, and try to be confident that we have made careful and responsible choices for our family, that we have parented with intention. And the thing is, our kids are going to get hurt no matter what we do, there will never be a recall on the park, or unkind words, or mean friends.

They will still get ear infections that bring on daunting fevers, and scary dreams, and they’ll still barf and skin their knees.

Ultimately my heart goes two ways when I find out that my family remains intact while others have drawn the short straw and faced harsh reality. First, I think of how precious each moment is – that we are all held together, alive, by a very thin thread. And second, I count my family lucky; thankfully we have the good fortune to all be alive and together and loving each other right now, hugs, hits, hollers and all.

The Story of Us

I've been more than negligent when it comes to blog posting. I have about 30 posts in my head somewhere but they are being pushed aside by this beast of a dissertation. But I thought I should give an update / squishy plan of our next 3 months.

Big things are happening. Probably the biggest news is that I am in the process of accepting a position at my old alma mater, Concordia College in Moorhead, MN. The contract just needs to be signed and returned and it will be a done deal. We are very excited that we are one of the fortunate PhD families to have gotten a position. The job market is pretty intense these days. Concordia had 87 applicants for the position which is almost 3 times their record breaking number of applicants.

I went for a campus interview April 8-10. It was strangely familiar and unfamiliar to be back. Leaving the F/M area on Saturday morning I knew that I really, really wanted the job. I was the last interview and on Thursday morning, April 15 I got the call that I would be hearing from the Dean who would officially offer me the job.

So...the rest is history really.

We met with our realtor yesterday and we have things moving and grooving to get the house on the market. We won't hit the tax credit deadline but we're still hoping someone out there is looking for a great, comfortable starter home.

Here is the next 3 months in a nutshell...remember this is all very squishy.

-April 28--full draft of dissertation to committee
-April 30--pictures of house to go up on RMLS over the weekend

-May 4 & 5--installation of new vinyl
-May 5--RMLS agent tour and house officially open to be seen
-May 19, 20, or 21--my oral defense (knock on wood)

-June 3-6--possible trip to F/M area to house hunt
-June 13--graduation
-June 16-July 6--direct Mad Duck

-July 7-10--load up truck and start the adventure

-August 5-8--Jen back to Portland to marry Evan and Hayley!!!
-August 23--go on contract at Concordia

It feels pretty freaking intense and super exciting!

And for good measure...here are a couple of pics of the girls playing dress up. And yes, Fin is wearing a leotard over her jammies.

Daddy Blogs Again!

The Practice of Parenthood

April 9, 2010 by The Next Family

By: Danny Thomas

The practice of parenthood,

For me…

Is like refining the art of giving yourself over to entropy.

Who knows?

I’ll tell you this

It is for me, learning that my relationship with chaos,

With energy of any sort in this place, is less about trying to master it,

And more about trying to fail gracefully in the face of it, at least as often as

I succeed by chance.

Oh man…

Chance has been good to me!

These girls!

Their mother!

I must try to walk with gratitude…

For all this

Generous,

Possibility…

A glorious balancing act to navigate.

Deciding

Which crisis to avoid

Which catastrophe to enjoy

And which miracle to take notice of…