Grandma Sandy and a Special Guest

After a long week of orientation, meetings and workshops it was fabulous that Grandma Sandy was able to come up and help us decompress. She had a special guest tag along this time...Cousin Porter!





Saturday we headed out to Concordia to look at my office. We had a bit of a "situation"...


Then we went to the Island Park Craft Fair and had lunch and a ride on the lawnmower train (the same one from the Corn Feed post).

There was piano playing...


And skateboarding...



There was baking (cookies and zucchini bread)...


and "tasting"...


A little bit of pig-piling


And an overall good time...although you wouldn't know it from this picture! :D


Overall it was a successful trip. There were times when it was difficult for Porter and Maya to "share" Grandma Sandy but overall I think it was a great first run at cousin time!

The Kangaroo Carrier...

We've had a few inquiries from Danny's most recent Daddy Blog about what kind of carrier Fin rides in.

Here is a picture of the rig. We absolutely love it. The customer service is phenomenal!!!


This is from last summer and she still can ride in it. She is getting close to being too big for it but we will probably make it until winter and then have to come up with something else for next summer. We have the Skuut Bike waiting in the wings for when she is "willing" to sit on it! :D

Another Daddy Blog

I blogged at Next Family again...

Today we went for a bike ride…
We left the house at about 9:30 am.
The children’s interest in breakfast was nominal…
As was my interest in engaging in a battle over sitting at the table and eating…
So knowing that we had a long, car-less day ahead of us, I undertook a previously talked about and anticipated loooong bike ride to a particular park that we drive past often – but that is about twice as far as our usual bike ride… a four mile trip.
The ride there was fabulous – we tried one time before but did not make it – we have to cross a lot of busy streets and parking lots to get there so I am a stickler about good listening and careful riding.
This time Lil’ Chaos did amazingly well – stuck close and followed directions with zero attitude.
We had a great time at the park – although the park leaves a little to be desired – there is a ginormous grassy hill which is cool – but the playground is kind of sucky – it does not have many great climbing toys and does have the dreaded merry-go-round – or as I like to call it “the concussion on wheels.”
On the way home –as our energy was wearing thin and we were riding against the wind – Wobzilla fell asleep hunched over my handlebars…
The return trip – no matter how great or small the distance – is often a challenge for Lil’ Chaos and me.
I am ready to be home and often uncomfortably hot and sweaty… duh.
Lil’ Chaos is usually tired and, in line with the converse, non-linear logic of the pre-k set, not eager to get home…
She goes slow.
I mean snail slow…
I try to let her lead and set the pace but I start to fall off my bike…
We stop and look at every slightly discolored blade of grass. Air becomes a distraction.
She starts to complain about her hair, her shoes, her skin…
If I move ahead, at any speed, I am going too fast…
Today, I vowed to myself not to fall into that pattern.
I would be patient. She could set the pace, we could examine the flattened bumblebees on the sidewalk – we didn’t have any where to be; Wobzilla was asleep on my handlebars, no problem…

Well…
We made a friend.
A poor, unsuspecting, twenty-something jogger…
Maya latched on to him and for 6 blocks quizzed him on topics ranging from his love life (Are you married? to a boy or a girl? Why?), to fashion (your shoes are white, white, white, white…), to modes of transport (Why are you running? Do you have a bike? Do you have a motorcycle?).
He was very conversational and polite and friendly, open to her interview. I’d say we were actually all quite entertained (except Wobzilla who was drooling on the handlebars…).
But then we hit the section of the trip with many busy driveways, with lots of traffic, with big four-lane intersections, all that stuff that makes me nervous even when I’m on a bike by myself…
Lil’ Chaos did not want to take a break from interviewing her new pal and take directions from me – and she made it very clear.
I tried to be patient, I tried to be understanding… I didn’t want to dampen the joy of spontaneous conversation with friendly strangers as I find it to be one of life’s most pleasant, enlightening, uplifting and sometimes mystical experiences… far be it from me to poop all over that kind of experience, on the other hand, if one rides one’s bike into an F250 hauling a ton of bark mulch out of the Home Depot driveway, there is a chance all future pleasant, enlightening and uplifting conversations with strangers will be limited to a handful of nurses and doctors…
Lil’ Chaos was not convinced – and we shifted into our typical stubborn mule mode of return ride… me leading a block ahead – circling back with, first, words of encouragement, then optimistic bargaining, then angry appeals, then pleas of desperation.
Needless to say, we went head to head, we both lost it – and the joy of the day’s bike ride ended up with what I guess is the typical tarnish of the family experience –conflict…
What I am thinking about now is if there is a positive way to approach this inevitable conflict, how to channel it, how to use it; I know conflict is vital and necessary to human interaction, as a collaborative artist, on a philosophical and intellectual level I can totally get behind that – as a father it’s pretty demoralizing…
I ended up riding home trying to imagine myself through the jogger’s eyes, which just led me to question every choice I made….
Am I overreacting?
Did I overreact?
Am I over protective?
Am I too detached?
Over attached?
Under attached?
An attaché?
Could I be more compassionate?
Am I too soft?
Am I too inconsistent, swinging moment to moment between understanding advocate and firm authoritarian?
Questions, questions, questions…
It’s always been a pretty vociferous part of my inner monologue – but as a parent the noise is deafening.
I guess it’s good and healthy to be analytical, to question and examine our choices, work out a different plan, or figure out how to alter the plan for next time.
Tonight, it feels like a lot of work…

Cobber Cornfeed!

Tonight was the annual Cobber Cornfeed at Concordia. We debated going all week. It's been a pretty intense week for me with faculty orientation and Danny has largely been on his own with the girls. Couple this with kids who haven't been sleeping well and we thought it might be nice to stay home for a night. That is of course until I walked past Knutson Center and saw the village of bouncy house toys being set up. I quickly called Danny and said, "Load up the kids, we are gonna eat some corn tonight!" We had an awesome time and the kids had so much fun.

The corn was delicious!








The Kid Train was a two-time-back-to-back experience.


There were at least 10 varieties of bouncy houses!


And even a mechanical bull!



Danny and I even had a little fun of our own! :D

Who Needs a Sleep Deprivation Chamber...

when you have these two?





Let's just say it's been a rough couple of weeks at our house. Fin is sleeping fairly well but Maya is having one hell of a time. We typically start the routine around 7pm, read books until about 8pm and lately she hasn't been falling asleep until between 10 and 11!

There are a number of reasons why this is challenging for us. She fights. Oftentimes literally. She has such a hard time quieting her body that by the end she is lashing out at us kicking, screaming and hitting. Definitely a challenge to keep your cool. It is also hard because the kids are not in daycare at all, so the post-bedtime time is the only time Danny and I have to chat, watch tv, pay bills, veg out on our own. Thankfully we alternate losing our minds about bedtime but I'm not sure how long that is going to last.

We've started a new method in the past couple of nights that seems to be working ok. Mixed results really. We put both girls to bed in their room. We read books and then Maya and Fin each lay in their own beds. It has worked in varying degrees--from not at all to us helping them with little to no tears. We are just trying to find a way to "make it work".

Ouroboros

Another Daddy blog on The Next Family

Ouroboros

Moving

All systems down

Out of time

Somehow living, broken open by nature, in the moment

Compelled

To be in the moment and out of time

And at the same time

Surrounded, to an exasperating degree,

By the what has been done and the what comes next.

Things.

Known and unknown…

Stuff.

Overgrown

Over known.

We did this together…

With love.

Thank you for all that.

So many kinds of love.

As I lay in bed the other night…

Missing my wife,

And at the same time,

Happily surrounded by my children,

I traced a chain of love.

All the love I knew that was tied to that moment …

For me…

Like a Rubik’s cube

With endless sides…

So many kinds of love…

· My love for my children…

· And my wife…

· The love we share with the people whose wedding she was attending -make that whose wedding she was officiating!

· The love those people share, Evan and Hayley – truly generous and inspiring people and artists…

What’s not to love?

Then I thought about the love that has helped us through our recent times…

Through our move etc.

· The kind of love we share that makes us want to pack up and haul each other’s shit around the country…

· More so, the kind of love our friends and family have for us that they packed and hauled our shit for us.

· Finally, the love of friends and colleagues, and strangers, for that matter, who have welcomed us here with kind and eager hearts.

I am fortunate to live in this much love.

And all the work and sweat and joy and blood and delight that comes with it.

Gratitude.

The new digs...and the old books

Here are the new office digs...313 Olin!









Right now it's filled with a whole lot of white walls, a whole lot of books and papers, and one crazed lunatic. I'm hoping to fix the walls and books/paper problem. As for the crazed lunatic? Well, I'm not sure there is much hope for her! :D

The House...a start...

So here are some shots of the house. It looks a lot messier in these pictures, or perhaps we've become so accustomed to our chaos that we don't see it until we are outside of it! :D

From the garage entrance...kitchen/dining room area.


The kitchen is small but functional. We've put a lot of our "extras" in storage including our fancy dishes and our wine glasses. Guess we will have to drink wine out of tumblers or pint glasses!


There is a giant closet right behind where I was standing when I took this pic. Thanks to our Costco trips before leaving Oregon we were able to create quite a storehouse of food which is nice during these lean times without paychecks! As the food goes away and the weather cools off the closet will be filled with winter coats, scarves, snow pants, etc!



There is a half-wall between the stairs up and down and the piano fits there perfectly! The piano has also become a holder for art that needs to be framed and hung!




The main living space. Couch / chair / tv with wii and Netflix. We have had to find ways to introduce color into our living space because living with all white walls everywhere is a bit of a change for all of us. With the art up it is beginning to feel a little less stark and a lot more like home!


Downstairs is the playroom / guestroom. We have banished all of the toys to the basement which makes the other living spaces much more comfortable for the 20+ age set! The toys are sorted and I have labeling on my to-do list. Baby steps!



You may or may not have noticed that the playroom doesn't have windows which was kind of strange at first. That is until we realized in tornado weather when we go to the basement for safety the kids will at least have stuff to do! :D Also, once we get art up on the walls it will make the place feel a little less prison-like.



Just down the hall is the 3rd bedroom that we are using for an office. Of course, because this is a parent-only room, it is the last room to get any attention. We have the bookshelves organized and we are sorting through reams and reams of papers and bills and stuff to recycle and shred.

We bought a card table and chairs so when the room is finally somewhat organized I can do something I haven't done for 7+ years...a puzzle. We haven't had a room that we can lock the cats or kids out of where I can leave a puzzle out and now...well, I am going to make time dammit! :D


Upstairs are the bedrooms. The girls are sharing a room for the first time ever. We've had some highs and lows and we are hoping to even out to a nice mid-ground. The curtains and art went up this weekend and we hope that will make it feel more comfortable for them.


It's a decent sized room with a nice deep closet. We haven't gotten a good system for the dresser or closet yet but we are working on it. They have all of their books in there and it has some definite possibilities. We've had a few mornings where we've woken up to the girls chatting and singing. We are hoping for more of those mornings.


Our bedroom is by far the largest bedroom we've ever had which is kind of fun. We have the big rocking chair in there which is where we rock Fin down but it will also be a nice reading / grading nook for me at night as well. We made a wall of family photos to stare at as well fall asleep at night. Some nights it really helps us to fall in love with the kids...especially after a rough day!!! (Does that make me a bad parent?!?)


Our bedroom from the door. We also have a walk-in closet that, once organized, will be a great space as well.


It has been strange to transition from a place that was full of our personality and choices to a place that is institutional and neutral. We are slowly making it as specific to us as possible!

The three-level layout is wonderful and we are slowly getting used to climbing the stairs a million times a day but it is great to be able to put a kid to sleep upstairs while someone else is making noise in the basement and not be able to hear it.

We have some neighbor noise which is hard to get used to but we also know that we make a hell of a lot of noise as well...our kids can tantrum and Danny and I aren't the quiet wallflower type either.

Well, there's the pad. C'mon by the next time you are in the Fargo / Moorhead area. We'd love to see you!

A Visit from Grandma Sandy

This is the face of a child eating apple/peach crisp and ice cream at 7:30 in the morning! That could only mean one thing: Grandma Sandy is in town!!!! :D



The girls spent a lot of time in the kitchen this weekend. Saturday morning started with Maya and Grandma making cucumbers in cream and freezing sweet corn.




While the girls worked on meal preparation Danny, Fin and I attempted to get into my office at Concordia to take some measurements and figure out the general situation but we failed. I had keys to get in one set of doors but not the next. Hopefully I will be able to get keys this week so I can do a little work at school and get the billion boxes of books unpacked.

Maya and Grandma Sandy went for LONG bike rides together on Saturday and Sunday which gave Danny and I a little time to organize the storage garage and unpack art. Things are coming along in the house and with art hung it is really starting to feel like home.

Of course there was another adventure in the kitchen. Grandma, Maya and Finley made cookies this morning! It was quite fabulous! And of course there was plenty of dough tasting!



Overall a wonderful weekend and we were able to get a lot more great work done on the house!

Biker Bab(i)es!

A routine part of the girls' day has become bike riding adventures. Sometimes they are hour long excursions and other times it is just meandering around the parking area.



Fin is still riding around her little green machine. I think she is almost big enough for the Skuut Bike but she is terrified of it. Most of the time she just pushes the bike around but she has fun.


We keep trying to entice her but we usually just end up with a big temper tantrum. In this specific instance Maya said to Danny and me "You guys she just likes her other bike". Yes, wise one, you are correct!



I'm pretty sure Maya was a BMX biker in a previous life...or perhaps in the very near future. She is a total daredevil and when she crashes (and I mean hardcore crashes) she hops up and jumps back on her bike. Danny and I frequently remind her that it's ok if she needs to take a moment to cry or breathe or whatever.


The puddles were tempting and eventually bike riding gave way to puddle stomping!